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Nov. 3 Almost Twilight at Presque Isle

I'm severely distracted today, so am posting a quickie Almost Twilight at Presque Isle Mine was the sunset streaked beach while his were the wind driven waves. A Black-crowned Night-Heron might have...

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Re: Nov. 3 Almost Twilight at Presque Isle

Some very fine phrasing, and I love the name Presque Isle. I like the image of the two holding hands while eating with all its awkwardness. Suddenly my left arm feel unfit. "Inside sunrise" is a great...

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Re: Nov. 3 Almost Twilight at Presque Isle

Also love the awkwardness of holding hands while eating and the inside sunrise.

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Re: Nov. 3 Almost Twilight at Presque Isle

Pretty darn good for a quickie! "Almost Sunset at Presque Isle" is a great title. Yes, very sweet, the hand-holding. inside sunrise = I'm not quite sure whether that's a term I should know or whether...

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Re: Nov. 3 Almost Twilight at Presque Isle

Well, I love that first couplet and the black-crowned night heron, have also seen one. That inside sunrise is indeed food for thought.

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Re: Nov. 3 Almost Twilight at Presque Isle

Oh, I love the delicacy of this.  (I wonder if you need the last line.)

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Re: Nov. 3 Almost Twilight at Presque Isle

this has such an innocent feel. The awkwardness of first love.

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Re: Nov. 3 Almost Twilight at Presque Isle

We agreed it had felt like an inside sunrise-metaphorical?I like the last line,Thatand didn't want to ask anyone else about it.

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Re: Nov. 3 Almost Twilight at Presque Isle

a very fine poem. distraction serves you well, my dear! I'd leave the title at Almost Twilight at Presque Isle and really-it's near perfect (I've had that experience and your phrasing, the simplicity,...

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Re: Nov. 3 Almost Twilight at Presque Isle

having been there many times, I'd say you'd done the location honors with your poem. Love the perceptive differences overcome with the inconvient handholding. whatever you can make in 30 in 30 is...

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Re: Nov. 3 Almost Twilight at Presque Isle

agree with whomever feels the last line has the slantedness that hasta walk out, and into the word. I mean, I like it!

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Re: Nov. 3 Almost Twilight at Presque Isle

All Thank you so much for your insightful and helpful comments and suggestions.Toni, I fabricated "internal sunrise" because it could be read as the opposite of the sunset (the N.'s physical body)....

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Re: Nov. 3 Almost Twilight at Presque Isle

It took me three readings to get the inside joke joke. Worth it. Very nice. And the handholding is like having a numb forearm but not wanting to move his lovely sleeping head off even when your...

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